Published!

I am pubished, and I didn't even know it! It may only be in the mighty Marin Independent Journal (known as the Marin IJ in these parts), but you've got to start somewhere. It happened while Michelle, Lucy, and I were away on our Thanksgiving trip back East, which is why we missed it when it originally went live.

The long story is that Michelle noticed that the paper, which keeps us updated on the daily happenings of Marin County, of course, has a section it occasionally publishes call 'How It Is'. This article is written by a local Marinite. As the paper explains it; "The IJ has been asking readers to share their stories of love, dating, parenting, marriage, friendship and other experiences for our How It Is column. All stories must not have been published in part or in its entirety previously. Send your stories of no more than 500 words to relating@marinij.com. Please write How It Is in the subject line. The IJ reserves the right to edit them for publication. Please include your full name, address and a daytime phone number."

After reading the requirements, I could assure the Marin IJ that this story had not been published beforehand, in part or in full. And I am proud to say that the story was not edited at all. The only editing came from me chopping off words left and right to get it down to 500 word maximum.

Anyway, Michelle suggested, sometime in early 2008 I believe, that I should submit one of the stories I wrote for my blog to the paper. Or a combination of a couple of stories. She suggested again in the Spring, and then again, in summer. Now, anyone who knows Michelle knows that 3 suggestions does not a suggestion make. So, off, in secret, I wrote and edited the story. I did submit it to Michelle 'the boss' Roberts for final approval, which I received (whew!) also in late summer. I was going to write a funnier version, but never got around to it, so I submitted it as is in the Fall.

And now, without further ado, I submit to you my story. For those newsie types, here is the link to the story so you can read it directly from the Marin IJ. I also have placed it below for your review. FYI, we will be receiving one back issue of the paper (for only $3.50! or there abouts) since we missed out on the original.



How it is: Enjoying the gift, ignoring the bow
Rich Roberts
Posted: 11/24/2008 10:24:07 PM PST


If you knew that you were going to die in a couple of years, what would you do? Would you change your life? How?

This kind of predicament sounds like fodder for some TV movie, where the hero would know what to do, and it would be sentimental and impressive, no doubt changing the lives of those who were there to witness it.

But the question is, what would you really do? In life, things don't usually tie up neatly in a bow at the end. And, if they did, would you be cognizant enough to appreciate that end?

Let's add one more wrinkle to this scenario. What would you do if you knew that you MIGHT die in a couple of years? I don't mean the chance that you could be hit by a bus tomorrow and die, which could happen to any of us. I am talking about being sick and looking for a cure, and knowing that, without a cure, you would die soon.

I am a 38-year-old male in just this situation. I have a wife, a 3-year-old daughter and cancer. A cancer that keeps on coming despite multiple surgeries, radiation treatments and biochemotherapy. A stubborn cancer for a stubborn man, one might say. A 20-month battle so far, with no winner declared and no white flag on the horizon.

I am an optimist by nature. Giving up is not an option. Hope is my good friend. But I am also a realist. I cannot ignore the alternative ending. And so, I ask myself, "Should I change something, and if so, what?" Or would that change imply that I had accepted a bad ending?

What I have done so far is helped set our family's affairs in order, talked to a priest, apologized to an ex-girlfriend for a bad breakup years ago and taken a family trip to Disneyland. I've researched alternative treatments. Much hope, many options, but few success stories. Otherwise, I have tried to live a normal life. Take my daughter to school, network for jobs, TiVo my favorite shows and prepare for another fantasy football season (this year is my year!).

So, I sit here, trying to live in the now and for the future, not committing fully to either. There are no scripts to read or rules to follow to help guide me through, just family and friends to support me.

I will say that I appreciate the experience to date. Any of us could be hit by a bus tomorrow and be gone forever, never having the chance to think these thoughts, to appreciate family and friends. For that, I am grateful.

I am just not ready to tie up this life in its nice little bow.

Rich Roberts is a San Rafael resident. The IJ has been asking readers to share their stories of love, dating, parenting, marriage, friendship and other experiences for our How It Is column. All stories must not have been published in part or in its entirety previously. Send your stories of no more than 500 words to relating@marinij.com. Please write How It Is in the subject line. The IJ reserves the right to edit them for publication. Please include your full name, address and a daytime phone number.